I am jaded!

I've been recently thinking hard about my career so far. I think I've achieved pretty much what I've set out for myself since my teenage year. I've always wanted a career in software development ever since I wrote my very first BASIC program on an Apple IIe in my primary school. I have always taken computer programming subjects at secondary and high school. Progressed to University (or College for our American friends) to do a Bachelor in Computer Science, graduated and found a job with a small IT firm which paid me 'peanuts'. Did a few years of "apprenticeship" of "real world" programming and after a few years of "real world" experience, the "padawan" me graduated into a small development team leader and was responsible for delivering a rather major system for a large enterprise. I was going somewhere. Surely I must be proud that I've achieved what I've set out to do since my early teenage years.

Yeah, maybe for 5 seconds, I think I was on top of the software development world. Maybe I even believed I was ready to take on the next journey and get a job with one of the big global software firms like Microsoft or IBM. I even started an open source project to prove that I'm "good". My career progressed and soon I found myself promoted to the application design team which later became the solution architecture team. I too, became a solution architect.

Then why I am "complaining"? What seems to be the "problem"?

I've been trying to work this out myself as well. I think the problem lies in the area of career path and career choices. I am asking myself, what are the possible paths I have in front of me. I don't think I'll ever want to run an IT shop. I don't think I'm cut out to be some CIO, CTO or chief of whatever. I'm like to create, be creative and immerse myself with creative people. I don't enjoy management, especially at big corporate level where people seem to waste lots of time going to big and meaningless meetings rather than solving real issues; decisions coming out from meetings are often based on flawed or warped information or who shouts the loudest; non-stop fire-fighting seems to be the norm; roadmaps for business are more akin to Alice in wonderland than to reality... oh, here's my favourite one.... the business people always want new cool technology or functionlity - yesterday, and sulk when poor souls like me have to bring them back to Earth from Mars.

This is why I am so...... jaded! I need a break!

Oh well, I've just realised how great it is to be able to "vocalise" my frustration. I'm also finding blogging therapy helps. Well, this is really becoming my very own "Doogie Howser, M.D." Diary. It is great to be able to put my thoughts down and verbalise and visualise them, virtualise my responses before I put them into action.

Well, dear blog diary, I shall see you again tomorrow. I shall attempt to do drop a bit of my thoughts each day.

(please forgive me for my bad grammer and typo.... I'm still not used to proof reading what I type - I certain hope to improve in this area - I know, I know, I am lazy! ;)