Wednesday, 29 October 2008

Lamentation of a A NAS sufferer

Once again, this poem never stopped me from smiling, or should I say, very lamenting.

The NAS Sufferer's Tragic Lament
Oh, how I wish I’d never gone
Into a shop that stocked Nikon.
I could have simply walked on past
The shiny bodies and the glass.

I should have spent my cash on booze
Or bought my wife some fancy shoes,
Or gone to any other store
Instead of walking through that door.

And even once I’d gone inside
My fate remained mine to decide.
I could have chosen something cute –
Perhaps a Canon point-and-shoot?

But, like a moth towards a flame
I walked straight past the other names.
The Nikon salesman looked at me
And rubbed his hands with overt glee.

“A camera, sir? You bet your ---!”
And that was how it came to pass
That in a minute, maybe less,
I owned a new D70s.

I captured everything that moved,
I exponentially improved.
My work would hang in the Smithsonian!
But then I stumbled on Nikonians…

And suddenly I knew the truth,
Was faced with concrete, graphic proof.
My pictures sucked! My gear was tragic!
I had no talent, much less magic.
And so I read and read some more
And soon became a crashing bore --
An uninvited tip dispenser
On depth of field and full-frame sensors.

But, to my shame, my main reaction
Was chronic gear dissatisfaction.
Woe is me, alack, alas –
I had a fatal case of NAS!

I had to have the very best
There was no way I’d accept less
And so I spent and spent some more
On lenses, bodies, gear galore.

It had to end, that crazy spree,
And did when my bank called on me.
The heartless swine, I'm sure he laughed
As he shut down my overdraft.

My credit cards went in the garbage
They threatened to foreclose my mortgage
My B&H account went too,
Along with my (now) ex-wife Sue.

So let my tale serve as a caution
To stay away from Ebay auctions.
Don’t rush out and buy the new
Just because you’re NAS-struck too.

And what of me, your tragic scribe?
How have I managed to survive?
I’m well, no really, it’s true, I’m free!
But I REALLY want that new D3…

Source: Unknown... would love to discover who the original author was.

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